Excuses, Excuses

  It's been 10 days since the last day of Lent and I have turned into a pathetic slacker as far as this lifestyle change is concerned. Even my Jawbone UP has been verbally abusing me for my slackitude. Today's message was particularly damning. "You haven't been your active self lately. Your 7 day step average of 5,861 is less than usual. Start fresh with 500 extra steps today? You lazy sloth." Yes, I ad-libbed the last sentence. J.U. is not exactly subtle, though. And to be fair, I totally forgot to put my Jawbone on last Thursday, so I didn't get any steps in at all that day. Okay, okay-I have EPICALLY failed on the walking since Easter. Jeff and I haven't logged any walks on our Nike app since Easter. Not a single one. Nobody's been jogging in place watching TV or doing laps through the house to hit the 10,000 mark. I have dropped to #8 on the walking team. #EIGHT!!!!!

Me and Jeff-chillin' and grubbin'. At least it's veggies, right?

Without the team challenge, I am having a hard time motivating myself to get out and walk. Even though I miss the time with Jeff. We still spend time together, but it's not the same. When we're walking, we have to at least PRETEND  that we're really focused on one another. He does such a good job of appearing to listen to me. We've also had some pretty nasty weather up here, which makes it easy to say, "There is NO WAY we're walking in that mess if we don't have to! I don't even OWN an umbrella!" We are going to have to find some new catalyst to restart the physical activity. (Not THAT kind! That is just fine, thank you). 

Join me for an evening stroll? Umbrellas are optional, my dear.

  I have also reached the point in my diet where I start becoming resentful of the limitations and am utterly bitter toward Dr. Atkins for imposing such restrictions on me! I mean, really! How dare this total stranger (who, by the way, is deceased and had never met me personally) try to tell me what I can and cannot do. Just let me live my life, man! And let my life be rolled up in cookie dough and dunked in chocolate fudge sauce. 
  You see, I've met a couple of goals now. #1-I started the diet. #2-Those first 10 pounds! And #3-I've lost all of the weight I had gained since Jeff and I started dating. And Jeff is so sweet! Every (and I do mean EVERY) day he tells me how skinny I am and how pretty I am. Well, he has always told me that he thinks I'm beautiful, every single day. But now he tells me I'm SKINNY every day. So I'm good, right? I can quit now, Dr. Atkins. Bring on the loaves of fresh baked bread and juice-dripping fruits baked under a golden crust with giant scoops of ice cream slowly melting on top. Don't get me wrong-I love the healthy foods we are eating. They are savory and satisfying. Grilled steak and roasted veggies? Awesome! But I'm getting all kinds of food cravings like a pregnant chef in her 9th month with twins who lives in a farmer's market. So far this week I have had the most indecent dietary daydreams about fish & chips, chicken potpie and chocolate cream pie. Not to mention an urge to do a swan dive into a venti white chocolate mocha with whipped cream. *sigh*

When I die, can it be drowning while doing the backstroke under a chocolate waterfall?

  Katie and I have talked about having a weekly cheat day. Probably Monday, right after our weekly weigh-in. Not to go off the deep end into a sugar-crusted buffet of consumable sins. Just one day a week where we maybe have a slice of pie and not feel like we are shame-ridden diet heathens sacrificing our souls and waistlines to the demons that rule the underworld of processed grain foods. 

You KNOW I had to put in a chocolate demon. He will haunt me day and night!

  Right now as a team we're about 37% of the way to our goal. That's pretty good, I'd say! We have a long way to go yet. I'm not giving up, and neither are Katie or Jeff. We've hit a bit of a motivational roadblock and we need to get it together! We need somebody to impose another experiment like our 10,000 step-a-day Lenten challenge. That ship has sailed. We need something shiny and new to inspire our fitness program upgrade. Who will be our newest contender ?

Be the Mr. T to my Rocky Balboa. Cuz you know you're going DOWN!